The Guilt Tripper

7 Types of Inner Critic (Part 3)

Dear Friendly Reader,

Next up on the 7 Types of Inner Critic is the guilt tripper. This voice isn’t as loud for me as the others, but it makes an appearance from time to time. In my early 20’s it ran my life, but now that I’m almost 40, it’s quieter.

The guilt tripper will find every possible way to make you feel bad. To remind you of everything you’ve ever done wrong. Here are a few of its favorite sayings:

• You don’t deserve recognition. Don’t you remember what happened last time you wrote something. Nobody cared. Nothing happened. It wasn’t good. Just give up.

• You think you have so much to say, but really you’re just wasting your time and everyone else’s time too. I hate you.

• You can keep writing all you want, but you’ll always be a failure. It’s a waste of time.

My guilt likes to take it to the next level and remind me that it is a privilege to have time to write.

• Isn’t it nice you have the time to write when other people are starving?

• Look at you trying to write another novel while there are problems in this world you could be helping with.

I fought against guilt for close to a decade while writing my novel series, The Gateway Series. I wrote over 300,000 words full of stories—despite guilts every attempt to stop me. I let my creativity build other worlds and I escaped into character development. I poured feelings of guilt into my characters and I gave it a place to speak. Now, guilt is a faint voice that has been replaced with joy and kindness.

Now when I sit down to write there’s a sense of returning to something greater than myself. There’s a sense that I am right where I’m meant to be and the words that are meant for me are here now. I don’t have to sift through painful voices to get to the kind voice inside that says, “Don’t be afraid of using your voice, your voice has power and it has a place.”

Nowadays, there’s this open path that greats me when it’s time to write as if I’m entering a magical forest ready to explore.

Writing has saved me time and time again.

If you’re living with abusive inner guilt and you don’t feel worthy of love and kindness—get help. There are so many resources. Find a cognitive behavioral therapist or another type of psychology that works for you. Start writing and exploring the voices, giving them a place to be heard. Check out Letters From Love with Elizabeth Gilbert and lean into the love inside of you.

There are also life coaches out there, here’s one I found while writing these articles about the 7 Inner Critics—Kamini Wood.

In a world that can make you feel small, guilty, and like you don’t matter. I’m here to say, “You exist, therefore you matter. It doesn’t have to be so hard. Asking for help is a sign of inner strength. You’ve got this! We’ve got this.”

Love Always,

Danielle Mallett